You Don't Actually Know What You Like (Until You Stop Looking at Everyone Else)
There is an uncomfortable question I think every homeowner should ask themselves.
How much of your taste is actually yours?
Most of us assume our homes reflect our personalities.
But psychology suggests something different.
One of the most fascinating phenomena in human behaviour is something called the mere exposure effect. It simply means that the more often we're exposed to something, the more we tend to like it.
Not because it's objectively better.
Because it's familiar.
This explains a surprising amount about modern decorating.
You scroll past enough white kitchens, boucle chairs, limewashed walls and oversized pendant lights, and eventually they stop feeling like trends.
They start feeling like good taste.
Not because you consciously chose them.
Because your brain quietly filed them under safe.
Humans have always done this.
We copy the people around us because, historically, fitting in kept us alive.
Today, we aren't copying our neighbours.
We're copying millions of strangers.
Social media hasn't created bad taste.
It has simply accelerated borrowed taste.
That's why so many homes now look oddly familiar.
Different people.
Different countries.
Almost identical rooms.
Ironically, the more inspiration we consume, the harder it becomes to hear our own preferences.
You begin to mistake repetition for instinct.
You stop asking, Do I love this?
Instead you ask,
"Would this look good on Pinterest?"
Those are very different questions.
Real taste develops much more slowly.
It isn't built during a weekend shopping trip.
It's built through small moments of recognition.
Walking through an antique store and stopping at the same chair three different times.
Finding yourself thinking about a painting weeks after you've seen it.
Realizing you've always been drawn to warm wood, even when cool oak was everywhere.
Those moments matter because they aren't influenced by an algorithm.
They're influenced by you.
I think that's one of the reasons vintage feels so personal.
Vintage shopping doesn't reward speed.
It rewards attention.
You aren't choosing from fifty identical versions of the same coffee table.
You're deciding whether this one belongs in your life.
The process forces you to develop opinions instead of borrowing them.
It asks better questions.
Not What's trending?
But What will I still love ten years from now?
The internet has made inspiration incredibly accessible.
That's a gift.
But like every powerful tool, it works best in moderation.
Sometimes the healthiest thing you can do for your home is stop looking at other people's homes for a while.
Visit a museum.
Walk through an old neighbourhood.
Browse a flea market without buying anything.
Pay attention to the restaurants that make you feel comfortable.
Notice the hotels you remember years later.
Collect experiences before you collect furniture.
Because your home shouldn't look like your algorithm.
It should look like your memory.
-Juliette
Photos by HARIS KENJAR